There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. - Steve Martin
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way. - Steve Martin
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. - Steve Martin
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot. - Steve Martin
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. - Steve Martin
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes. - Steve Martin
Be so good they can't ignore you. - Steve Martin
Be so good they can’t ignore you. - Steve Martin
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. - Steve Martin
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. - Steve Martin
I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is. - Steve Martin
Be undeniably good. - Steve Martin
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper. - Steve Martin
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything. - Steve Martin
If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you. - Steve Martin
Harder you Try, Luckier you get - Steve Martin
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. - Steve Martin
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. - Steve Martin
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them. - Steve Martin
Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever heard. About three years late, women got wise an my frustration returned to normal levels. - Steve Martin
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither. - Steve Martin